a letter to my younger self

(this was counselling homework 😭 shoutout to my bestie kim she's a saint xxx but i wanted to post it here. if you're feeling a bit lost i'd recommend doing this, it was very cathartic! i love little me so much <33)

to my younger self

i know your biggest dream is to be older, but i’m 19 now and i feel like i’m learning how to be more like you - because you have no idea how incredible you really are. you are loud and vibrant and confident, as you should be. you cry when you need to, laugh when you want to. you take up space in a room without ever worrying that you’re too much, or not enough. i’m trying to learn how to be like you again.

right now, people don’t quite get you. you’re so smart, so ambitious, and unafraid to show it. people who aren’t secure in themselves find it difficult to watch someone else shine. i know the people-pleaser in you is desperate to fit in with everyone else. but don’t try and be someone you’re not.

don’t dumb yourself down, and don’t sell yourself short of what you’re capable of just to make everyone else comfortable. don’t let other people influence you too much - it’s your life, you have to make the decisions for yourself. you have so much to say, and even if some people aren’t ready for it yet, that doesn’t mean your voice shouldn’t be heard. keep speaking up for what you believe in.

it’s not easy, especially for people like us — i’m sorry to say even now we’re still scared of conflict. but other people’s comfort is not more important than your well-being. you can be kind, and you should be kind, without bending over backwards for people who wouldn’t lift a finger for you.

you want to be successful. you want to blaze trails, save the world. but sometimes the little things have the biggest impact. something as simple as smiling at a stranger, making someone laugh, or telling someone how much they mean to you, can make all the difference. you have a bright future ahead of you, but even if you didn’t, that wouldn’t matter. you are more than enough as you are. no one’s going to abandon you even if you aren’t perfect. because no one is. just like you forgive other people for mistakes, forgive yourself too.

you don’t have it easy, and i wish i could say it was going to get easier. you’re going to have a lot of setbacks along the way, and there will be a lot of times where you’ll wonder whether it’s even worth carrying on. but you’re going to have some amazing experiences too. you have the best family, and you’re going to meet so many incredible people who love you so much. no matter what happens, you’re never alone, not even for a second. never underestimate just how many people care about you, and if you won’t keep going for yourself, keep going for them.

have confidence and happiness in what makes you beautiful, wonderful little you. the right people will come to you as long as you stay true to yourself. always be kind, because the world really could do with a little more kindness. take risks, and when you fall down, because you will, always get back up again. you are so strong. don’t forget that, and don’t give up.

i love you very much, and i promise you’ll be okay. for you, i’ll make sure it is.

love, your older self x